curtain cord - tragic death

[Honkyblues]

I really didn't post about this to start a thread apportioning blame (especially when we don't know the exact facts of the case - who are we to judge?), but as a warning so that a tragedy like this doesn't happen again.

Like MayC, I am re-visiting the child-proofing of my home; and I'm going to try not to let things slip ("oh, I'll fix that tomorrow," "I really must find a safer place to keep those scissors,") etc. I know I am guilty of keeping dangerous medicines in an unlocked drawer. Fair enough, I thought the drawer is high enough that my two little boys can't reach it. But they are resourceful, and there are step-stools in the bathrooms that they could easily drag into the bedroom to investigate those mysterious, high-up drawers! I bought a lock-box from CitySuper about 3 months ago, and it was only last week that I finally read the instructions on how to set the code, and filled it with all the Panadols, Aspirins, mercury thermometer, and anything else that was hazardous.

We all want to protect our children. I'm sure these poor parents were doing their best too. And the helper was probably doing her best. But accidents happen... Let's not pass judgment, but let's just all act positively after this tragedy and keep our children safe.

Peace and health to all!

 

[jane01]

Well shoot me, I don't routinely check my children when they are sleeping. I do exactly what the helper did, just check if they are sleeping more than normal.

Having said that, I provide a safe sleeping environment. The cot is not against he window and in any case, we don't have curtain cords. Curtains can be easily pulled together without using a cord.

 

[zac08]

clearly the culprit IN THIS INSTANCE is the curtain cord being in the wrong place.

this is so so so sad.

 

[babymommy2]

The best you can do is make sure your child's sleeping environment is 100% safe. It is not at all practical to check on you child every 20 or 30 minutes while they sleep. How could anyone get enough sleep to function if they woke up every 20-30 minutes to check on thier child all night long. Children can weake up an night, just as they do at nap time so I really don't see the logic in only checking at nap time. Also it is a false sense of security. What if your child strangled on minutes 5, by minute 20 when you check again your child would already be dead. Your child can't make noise when they are strangling, you need air to make noise and if there was enough air to vocalize, you would also have enough air to breathe. Choking people make no sound. In our room as babies they were in a crib with no bumperpads or pillows or stuffed things, in a grobag so no blankets, crib not near a window and couldn't get out of the crib, once they could get out of the crib then went to a matress on the floor at first, covers on all outlets, cut the blind cord very short, only an adult can reach it, and the blinds cords are all within the fabric of the blind so they can strangle inside of the blind either, locked windows and if it is ummer and the windows ar eopne then there is nothing near them they can climb to get to the window. everything is 100% safe so that I know for sure nothing can happen when I am not in there. The room was pretty bare, but I can sleep at night.

 

[joyofliving]

Wonder why are people harping upon "We never leave our daughter napping alone, always check up on her every 20- 30 mins to see she is alright." I was never advising anyone here on this forum to do the same, just sharing what we do ourselves. Whats so wrong if we have the time and patience to do it, if it assures us, our daughter is sleeping well. We all do whats best for our children.
And babymommy2 you should have read my second comment before making caustic remarks. How can you have the heart to say this about anyone's child "What if your child strangled on minutes 5, by minute 20 when you check again your child would already be dead."???? And need I mention we have baby proofed our home as far as possible.

 

[babymommy2]

I didn't say it be caustic or to offend you, I said it because that is how I rationalized it myself, that is what I told myself and why I don't check on my children when they are asleep. I didn't mean to imply your child, or anyones child in particular, When I re-read what I wrote, I can see how it came across that way and I apologize. I used to check all the time when I had my first baby and was a new mom, and I got no sleep. After awhile I thought exactly that, why am I checking every half hour? I was making myself more paranoid. If something had happened to the baby unless I came in at that exact moment that something happened, I wasn't doing anything helpful by checking frequently. At the time I was thinikng more of sids than blind cords, but the principle is the same. Unless I came into the room at the exact moment the baby stopped breathing, or got caught in the blind, nothing is changed. If it happened 5 minutes after I left the room and I check evey 30 minutes, too late. this made me more and more paranoid, unitl I just accepted that the room was completely safe, and there was nothing more that I could do to prevent anything so I stopped checking. This is what made me able to get a full night sleep ( other than breastfeeding). It no longer seemed logical to me to check.

I agree you have to do what puts you mind at rest, if checking every 20 minutes makes you feel better, then do it. That didn't work for me, it made me feel worse, and it was the knowledge that I had done everything that I can child proof wise, that made me feel better and let me sleep.

 

[Little Monster]

After reading all the posts, I think all parents here are good parents, but with different approach to protect their babies. It is good to know what others are doing in raising a kid, and through this we can enrich our own how-to-raise-a-kid bible.
Personally I do check on my baby during his nap from time to time. We are not living in a huge castle, checking on him is just a few steps away, why not? Just try our very best to make sure he is alright, make sure he is well blanketed (my baby refuses to stay in a grobag), make sure he is not sleeping on his face down, etc. To provide a baby proof environment doesn't give me 100% peace in mind as you really never know about accidents. At nite, I will check on him usually once, sometimes twice ( am not a "deep sleeper", not sure if this is the right term) for the same reasons mentioned above. Well, being a mom is never easy, and that's why mothers are widely praised by all for our selfless love for our children.

 

[jane01]

The point isn't being personal about who does and doesn't check on their babies whilst they are asleep. The point is the posts saying that the helper should be charged because she didn't until the baby overslept. I think this is ridiculous and anyone saying that the helper should be charged needs some perspective - most parents don't constantly check their children whilst they are asleep. Why should the helper be charged for doing the same thing?

 

[Matty]

Agree jane01, it is our responsibility, not our helper's to ensure our homes are babyproof.
My helper just does what I do, I don't check on my children after they have been put down for naps.
I'm sure that this helper is devastated by what has happened, I know mine would be. Unfortunatley she has to live with the what if's for the rest of her life.
There is nothing to say that this tradgedy couldn't have still happened if the child had been in the parents care.

It's just a horrible incident, that hopefully others can learn from.