I've been reading forum in Chinese and so many mothers share your struggle! So many of their family members are not supportive of breastfeeding, mainly because they are ignorant and think that formula is better, and are always worried that the baby doesn't get enough food because breast milk looks more watery etc. They don't understand the importance of giving the mothers support. So you're definitely not alone. I'm sure it's super frustrating. But definitely be strong and don't let them get inside your head. Have the facts on your side and explain to them. There are breastfeeding support groups as well if you want more moral support from other mothers!
Breasatfeeding: sensitive subject
- Thread starter JL168
- Start date
Agree on this one too. I never breastfed any of my children, didn't even try. Read about it, discussed it with my doctor (who was supportive either way) but decided against it for personal reasons. I have no regrets or bad feelings about it. My children have grown up well so far and are very healthy. Whatever works for you ...
My family is the same. Even with my second breastfed baby, they still question me. It gets worse because my cousin swapped to formula with her baby at 4 months because she thinks it's too much work and baby is too attached to her, and another cousin only tried a few days and decided she had "no milk at all."
What I've found about my family (or friends / stranger) when they doubt my milk supply:
(1) Because they can't see the actual milk, they don't know how much the baby has consumed, and they don't like the "unknown."
(2) Also, since breast milk is so much easier to digest, breastfed babies "eat" more frequently, therefore people believe that the mother is not producing enough to keep the baby full for a long time.
(3) Unlike formula, breast milk change in content/composition to meet the baby's need instead of increase in volume, my family doesn't understand why my kids eat so little (they see it in bottles when I expressed)
(4) Chinese like chubby babies! My family adore my cousin's chubby formula fed baby because he grows so fast and so big. When the baby's 9 months old, he weighed the same as my then 2 years old. (he's so chubby that he can't push himself up to crawl)
My advice: Believe in yourself and feel good about what you do. I'm sure all you want to do is give the best to your little one. If you want to keep breastfeeding, go for it. Breastfeeding is hard work, but also enjoyable and satisfying. Don't stress out about it because stress decrease milk supply!
P.S. I breastfed my daughter till 2 years old and now breastfeeding my 4 months old. It can be done (even with unsupportive family).
What I've found about my family (or friends / stranger) when they doubt my milk supply:
(1) Because they can't see the actual milk, they don't know how much the baby has consumed, and they don't like the "unknown."
(2) Also, since breast milk is so much easier to digest, breastfed babies "eat" more frequently, therefore people believe that the mother is not producing enough to keep the baby full for a long time.
(3) Unlike formula, breast milk change in content/composition to meet the baby's need instead of increase in volume, my family doesn't understand why my kids eat so little (they see it in bottles when I expressed)
(4) Chinese like chubby babies! My family adore my cousin's chubby formula fed baby because he grows so fast and so big. When the baby's 9 months old, he weighed the same as my then 2 years old. (he's so chubby that he can't push himself up to crawl)
My advice: Believe in yourself and feel good about what you do. I'm sure all you want to do is give the best to your little one. If you want to keep breastfeeding, go for it. Breastfeeding is hard work, but also enjoyable and satisfying. Don't stress out about it because stress decrease milk supply!
P.S. I breastfed my daughter till 2 years old and now breastfeeding my 4 months old. It can be done (even with unsupportive family).
Yes. My father-in-law would always exclaim when my daughter was about 4-5 months-old, "She's eating again?!" But, I must say that even though my daughter was 100% breastfed until she started on solids and still takes breastmilk, she is still a chubby baby! My son was also very chubby when he was being breastfed--so just because you breastfeed doesn't mean your baby won't have that baby chub. My son gained nearly a pound (1/2 kilo) in about 10 days after leaving the hospital only from drinking breastmilk. The lactation consultant asked me if my breastmilk was pure cream or something. Ha ha ha!
Ultimately, you have to ignore people sometimes and just do what you feel is right and know that you definitely are producing enough for your baby no matter what others think.
I would encourage you to join some of the LLL meetings in Hong Kong. At a LLL meeting breastfeeding is the norm. It can be very difficult to find a place where this is so in Hong Kong where the majority of mothers wean so early.
Here is an article at http://www.lllhk.org/WhyLLL.html which explains why a LLL might be useful to attend.
Details of the current schedule is available at http://www.lllhk.org/Meetings.html for English speaking meetings and http://www.lllhk.org/ChineseMeetings.html for Chinese speaking meetings.
Best wishes,
SARAH
Here is an article at http://www.lllhk.org/WhyLLL.html which explains why a LLL might be useful to attend.
Details of the current schedule is available at http://www.lllhk.org/Meetings.html for English speaking meetings and http://www.lllhk.org/ChineseMeetings.html for Chinese speaking meetings.
Best wishes,
SARAH
Are there any meetings arranged for breastfeeding mothers who work full-time and can't get away in the early morning or mid-afternoon? I didn't see any on the site.
Oh, just ignore them. I've been successfully BFing for more than 6 months, and for almost 6 months all my relatives -- plus random Chinese people on the playground, at the baby clinic -- keep lecturing me that I don't have enough milk.
It's just a cultural thing.
First, Chinese people are just a bit more paranoid. Ever notice that you baby is always "not wearing enough clothing" or "shouldn't be eating this or that"? So they always find problems to harp on about even if they don't exist.
Also, the "pui yuet" are generally not very pro-breastfeeding.
I was waiting for the doctor the other day and just chatting to a Chinese mom. Her pui yuet decided, out of the blue, to declare that my perfectly healthy baby was not getting enough nutrition.
And I say this as a Chinese person -- ignore them!
It's just a cultural thing.
First, Chinese people are just a bit more paranoid. Ever notice that you baby is always "not wearing enough clothing" or "shouldn't be eating this or that"? So they always find problems to harp on about even if they don't exist.
Also, the "pui yuet" are generally not very pro-breastfeeding.
I was waiting for the doctor the other day and just chatting to a Chinese mom. Her pui yuet decided, out of the blue, to declare that my perfectly healthy baby was not getting enough nutrition.
And I say this as a Chinese person -- ignore them!
i has the opposite problem! my first baby had really bad reflux - i would breast feed her for like an hour and then give her one little pat on the back to burp her and she would vomit the whole lot up and then cry because she was hungry, but i had nothing left to give her. she would cry and cry and cry until i thought i would go mad. i went to the health centre and asked if i could give her formula, but they kept saying no, breast is best. i seriously nearly had a breakdown. in the end i went out and bought some formula, so then when she vomited i could just go and make another bottle. we were both much happier after that!
carang
Registered User
why would you ask the health centre if you could give formula? you are the mother, it's your decision! you don't need to feel guilty that it didn't work for you.....
again...
whatever is best for the family...
ps> my girl was lactose intolerant... she spent the first 3-4 months of her life sleeping or screaming. i did breastfeed exclusively, but that was because i wanted to...a dr in db prescribed a VERY expensive bottle of enzymes to help her cope and they worked a miracle!
again...
whatever is best for the family...
ps> my girl was lactose intolerant... she spent the first 3-4 months of her life sleeping or screaming. i did breastfeed exclusively, but that was because i wanted to...a dr in db prescribed a VERY expensive bottle of enzymes to help her cope and they worked a miracle!