Baby goes to sleep by himself?!?

[OX Jess]

Thanks ladies for all the advice.

Last night I set up the 'sleeping atmosphere' at home around 8:30 (by toning down the light and playing some bedtime music); then I sat him on my lap and read a book with him. Then at about 9:10 I took him to the bedroom and laid him down in bed, in which he rolled over here and there for about 10 minutes, and babbled to himself for another 10 minutes and finally fell into sleep. YEAH!! Hope he will do the same tonight~~~

 

[peainpod]

That's great OXJess, congrats! Like southside852, I'm a firm believer in sleep routines. It preps the child for sleeping so as you go thru the motions, he is already mentally being prepared for bed.

I have a similar routine which I started from almost birth and I try never to vary - bath followed by milk with 10 mins of babytv, followed by teethbrushing and then 1-2 bedtime books.

Whatever your routine, it's important you stick to it so baby becomes accustomed. Good luck!

 

[Obiwan]

I am working on the sleeping routine. Last night, my little girl (almost 8 months now) fell asleep on her milk feed and we put her down to sleep, she woke up after 15 minutes and started crying. We patted her for 15 minutes, it didn't get better, she cried until she threw up!!!

It's probably our own doing. As it was easier to pacify her late at night when she is next to us, vs in her own room. We need to get her back to sleeping in her cot again. Now that she can pull herself up or roll on her stomach, it's so difficult to make her lie down

Any idea why babies wake up crying several time in the middle of the night (not hunger) and falls back asleep within a few minutes with some patting? We didn't have this problem when she was younger.

 

[1stimemum]

I have a question for all you mums out there. Sleep associations. What was your experience with changing sleep habits and behaviors? For eg : nursing to sleep OR cuddling/ holding him to sleep?

How long does it take to change the habit? weeks or months?
How much crying does it take each time?

I am now embarking on what I foresee will be a very difficult period my son is now just past 3 mths and I intend to stop cuddling/ holding him to sleep. I want to get him to learn to sleep by himself in his cot. Would like to know what I'm in for/ what to expect?

 

[newbiekt]

I waited until 4 months with my son and then weaned him off cuddling him to sleep and also using a dummy. It took about two weeks in total and sometimes he would cry for up to 20 mins. It wasn't a fun time, but now aged one he settles himself within 5 minutes when he goes to bed and even when he wakes up in the night he goes back to sleep on his own more often than not. I think it was totally worth it!

 

[OX Jess]

My previous problem with putting my son to sleep at night is kind of solved now. Now I don't need to carry him or rock him or sing to him when I want him to sleep (I did all these in the last 9 months and my son is now 10 months old.) What I do now, for your reference, are:-

(1) half an hour before his usual bedtime, 9pm, I set the light in the living room dim, play some light music and STOP playing with him completely. Sometimes if he is in the mood I will read a book with him (but most of the time he is too impatient with sitting down with me to read a book!)

(2) at 9pm, I take him to the bedroom and turn off all the light, shut the door then put him into his own cot, in which he plays by himself for about 10~20 minutes, i.e. pulling up, jumping up and down, rolling over, babbling, etc. until I guess he makes himself tired. I sat on my own bed (his cot is next to our bed) and don't make a sound.

(3) Then when he's ready for sleep he will stretch his arms wanting to be carried. Then I take him to my bed and kiss him goodnight and he will roll over for another 5~10 minutes and then fall into sleep.

As I said, since his birth I carried him and rocked and sang him to sleep and I never really tried to let him sleep by himself. In other word I didn't make this change purposely. What happened was: one evening he suddenly refused to be carried by me and struggled to go into his cot... after the third night I realised he wanted to play a bit in his own cot then roll a bit in my bed then sleep. Just happened so naturally~~~~

My son normally sleeps through the night but he sometimes, once a week on average may wake up in the middle of night crying with tears, or simply cry in sleep. I would lift him up and cuddle him back into sleep. I don't know the reason. As it doesn't happen often so I never try to find out why...

 

[1stimemum]

OX Jess, it seems to have happened naturally for you which is great but what if it didnt, were you prepared to keep doing it?

My fear is that he cries for hours... i dont have it in me to deal with that.

 

[OX Jess]

As far as I remember my son had never cried for hours before bedtime. The longest one he cried before bedtime is 30 minutes, because I shut the door and refused to let him play more as it was already 10pm! So if he does cry that long for no reason I would certainly check if there's anything wrong with him (sick, tummy ache, wet nappy, etc). Therefore I have no concrete idea as to what I'd do if my son cries for hours before going to sleep... I guess I would try to find ways to settle him down first (whatever it is rocking / patting / singing...) then I will follow that pattern next time and set up a routine slowly. I think, different babies have different favourite sleeping pattern and you should find out what one suits your little one best. For example, before my son turned to fall asleep by himself, I realised that he can always quiet himself down when I play a certain folk song so I follow that pattern and it works well 9 out of 10. I don't think, a baby, if feeling cosy and secured, would cry for an hour long.

Sometimes, being too tired could be a reason why they can't settle themselves easily and cry for long. (I experienced it ONCE and it was really difficult to quiet him down!) Therefore, if possible, set your baby into sleepy mood before he gets really tired. Good luck and hope your baby is a good sleeper!

 

[Aava.Wong]

he sometimes, once a week on average may wake up in the middle of night crying with tears, or simply cry in sleep. I would lift him up and cuddle him back into sleep. I don't know the reason. As it doesn't happen often so I never try to find out why...

i've noticed that my bubba only cries in his sleep when his regular schedule gets messed up during the day or if i take him out to new places/activities.

 

[bonnie6]

my 4 month old hasn't really ever fallen asleep by herself...and it would be good to try and train that now, she falls asleep now on my breast and in my bed, very bad habit i know and one i would like to change, first step i am putting her in her cot a little each day, i need to get her to fall asleep not on my breast, i have reading the baby whisperer and it is very good but as much as i understand the principle, eat, activity, sleep, you, apart from the fact she doesn't sleep long periods in the day she would rather sleep during and after a feed, she is a sicky/windy baby so i also don't want to make her play afterwards as think this will make her sick even more i would have thought, sorry a few issues going on, any help ideas on how to correct some of these problems