Install the app
How to install the app on iOS
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Baby frightened of daddy
- Thread starter jeanyeeli
- Start date
M
MLBW
Guest
Your husband started hitting your baby? Um...is that why the baby is frightened?
M
MLBW
Guest
By "hit" do you mean "spank"--or like hitting across the face or something? And if he is hitting him out of frustration--even spanking that's not a good idea anyway.
Is your husband a bit stressed out in general? Like is he nervous around the baby? (How old is your baby?) Is he stressed out at work? Children can often pick up on the stress of adults and it also affects their moods. How does your husband approach the child? Is he gentle, happy, loving--giving the baby a safe feeling? What is the environment like in your home? All of these can affect how the baby reacts to his father. If your son is a particularly sensitive, he may be picky about the people he wants to be held by--if he only sees his father for a brief time every day he may view him as a stranger--as he gets older he may outgrow this--however getting angry at him and taking out frustration physically will only reinforce that fear--it is the adult's (your husband) responsibility to be in control of his emotions and actions--a baby can't do that yet--they don't have the ability.
Is your husband a bit stressed out in general? Like is he nervous around the baby? (How old is your baby?) Is he stressed out at work? Children can often pick up on the stress of adults and it also affects their moods. How does your husband approach the child? Is he gentle, happy, loving--giving the baby a safe feeling? What is the environment like in your home? All of these can affect how the baby reacts to his father. If your son is a particularly sensitive, he may be picky about the people he wants to be held by--if he only sees his father for a brief time every day he may view him as a stranger--as he gets older he may outgrow this--however getting angry at him and taking out frustration physically will only reinforce that fear--it is the adult's (your husband) responsibility to be in control of his emotions and actions--a baby can't do that yet--they don't have the ability.
Hi, jeanyeeli
Does he spend daddy-baby time alone? My son loooooooooves his daddy so much. He cannot stop smiling.
My husband always smile at him, gentle with him, talk to him with gentle soft voices......since our son was born. So they have a good bond. I always make sure they get quality daddy-son time alone.
Maybe you husband needs to change his attitude towards baby and he needs to know baby cries! That is a part of baby's job!
I cannot believe your husband hit baby. It is absolutely No-No!
If he does not stop, I am sure your baby will get more frihten of your husband and will not bond.
Sucellia
Does he spend daddy-baby time alone? My son loooooooooves his daddy so much. He cannot stop smiling.
My husband always smile at him, gentle with him, talk to him with gentle soft voices......since our son was born. So they have a good bond. I always make sure they get quality daddy-son time alone.
Maybe you husband needs to change his attitude towards baby and he needs to know baby cries! That is a part of baby's job!
I cannot believe your husband hit baby. It is absolutely No-No!
If he does not stop, I am sure your baby will get more frihten of your husband and will not bond.
Sucellia
I am not sure if this helps or not.
I am stay home mom so I spend a lot more time with our son than my husband. My husband absolutely loves our son but of course, being daddy is not easy thing to master. It is learning process.
So what I did was I always told him what our son and I did today, what made him laugh, what made him cry, what he liked, what kind of holding position he liked, what made him stop crying and etc every day. So my husband will know these little techniques/tips when he spend time with our son.
I also gave a lot of complements to my husband when he was doing great with our son. It made him feel more confident as daddy and he enjoyed spending time with baby.
One another thing I did was, inform my husband what to expect at each age/month. So my husband will know what our baby is like at 2 months, 3 months, 4 months......and so on.
Maybe you can do the same to help out your husband? Maybe he simply does not know what to do or how to do.
Sucellia
I am stay home mom so I spend a lot more time with our son than my husband. My husband absolutely loves our son but of course, being daddy is not easy thing to master. It is learning process.
So what I did was I always told him what our son and I did today, what made him laugh, what made him cry, what he liked, what kind of holding position he liked, what made him stop crying and etc every day. So my husband will know these little techniques/tips when he spend time with our son.
I also gave a lot of complements to my husband when he was doing great with our son. It made him feel more confident as daddy and he enjoyed spending time with baby.
One another thing I did was, inform my husband what to expect at each age/month. So my husband will know what our baby is like at 2 months, 3 months, 4 months......and so on.
Maybe you can do the same to help out your husband? Maybe he simply does not know what to do or how to do.
Sucellia
Last edited:
elephantine
Registered User
Oh gosh - I feel badly for you and your baby. It is awful that your husband has started hitting your baby. Frankly, I think this is abusive behavior and you must protect your baby by getting your husband to stop it immediately and encouraging him to build loving bonds. If you don't stand up for your son, it is unlikely that anyone else will. I understand that your husband may be stressed about work or just have a stressed personality generally - which would explain why your poor baby doesn't like to be with him. However, stress is no excuse for hitting anyone - your husband should be accountable for his own conduct. If he doesn't listen to your advice, you could get family members to talk to him or even try to get professional help from a counsellor. I wish your family all the best!
Last edited:
M
MLBW
Guest
Jean,
I have PMed you. For anyone else who is dealing with a family violence situation, here are a couple of links:
http://www.harmonyhousehk.org/eng/contactusimage/contactus_eng.htm
http://www.msubillings.edu/BusinessFaculty/Leonard/dsvs/
I have PMed you. For anyone else who is dealing with a family violence situation, here are a couple of links:
http://www.harmonyhousehk.org/eng/contactusimage/contactus_eng.htm
http://www.msubillings.edu/BusinessFaculty/Leonard/dsvs/
About this archive
This is an archive of over 20 years of GeoBaby and GeoSchools knowledge and discussions, kept online as a read-only reference.