Anyone came across this (please read)

[babi77]

Breastfeeding moms out there:

have you always being critized that your babies are not as large and fat as those formula babies? I always receive critisim from my mom-in-law... why they always think that fat babies are healthy babies?

my boy is not 7 months old and is exclusively breastfeed and he has been eating solids already, he has good appetite, and is on a slow weight grow but he has never been sick, and loves to play. But don't know why people always critizie that he's too thin. though doctor say he's fine..

is really hurt and down to listen to those comments.. anyone want to share?

regards
Babi

 

[HKfornow]

Babi,

Sorry to hear about the hurtful comments that your MIL's making. Just let me ask you one question, who would you trust to have the right opinion when your baby is sick. .. your MIL/the people who criticize you or your baby's doctor? If it's the doctor, then also take his word that your baby is fine, and tell her that "Doctor say baby is doing just fine and is very healthy, thank you very much"

I've had my MIL tell me that my milk is no good, bad for baby, caused my baby health problems, etc. (this is JUST her breast feeding criticisms). Though I tried not to take things seriuosly but can't deny that the comments hurt. So chin up and believe in yourself, and don't let detractors get you down. Just remember YOU are the mom and you are doing what is best for YOUR baby.

 

[BabyEden]

Don't worry Babi. Although mine is formula baby, he is not very fat coz he is now 8 mths old and he is very energetic, crawl, stand and walk with support. Please don't mind other's comment. As long as he is healthy and happy, that's enough for every Mom.

 

[kashismum]

babi77 - I've also heard the same comments from many, including my daughter's doctor. It's important to remember that, mostly, these comments emanate from ignorance. So if you've done your research and you're certain your baby is healthy and gaining weight steadily, try to ignore them. If in doubt, you can always contact LLL.
Unfortunately, we bf mothers need a thick skin - critics of method, milk quantity/quality or of feeding in public are numerous. However, in my experience, once you have solidified your bf relationship with your baby, it will take an awful lot more than a bit of criticism to dampen that very special bond. In 11 months, I've encountered threats in many forms including impending surgery, low weight baby, apparent poor milk quality (!) and pregnancy but still going strong so far!
Hope this helps.

Keep going

 

[usfret]

Yeah Babi, tell your MIL to GET LOST and mind her own goddamn business. She's probably just envious coz she couldn't bf her own baby. Sorry for being so harsh but I've just had it with all these ignorant women who believe that a mother's milk is not good for the baby.

It is entirely upto the mother to dtermine what she plans to feed her baby. If a mother decides to formula feed for whatever reason then it is her choice and it must be respected. Similarly, if a mother decides to breast feed then NO ONE except perhaps a doctor in case of a medical reason may advise otherwise.

I am breast feeding my baby too and I had to listen to a lot of crap too including stuff like, my milk supply would go down once I started working and babies who are fed cow's milk are healthy and active and other such total Bull Shit. But I didn't let any of those comments faze me. Yes, I too would feel hurt cannot deny that, but I just continued doing what I thought was best for my baby. He too is a small baby but my health advisors have never asked me to stop breastfeeding or supplement. He is a a bright active boy and even though I am working and it's bloody tough I plan to breast feed until he self weans.

So don't you bat an eyelid and just persevere and seriously, tell your MIL to take a hike.

 

[babi77]

Dear All,
thanks so much. You know what hurts me more is she also breastfeeded my hubby and his sibilings. That's why I wonder why she do so. But she said my hubby is very very chubby at that time even totally bf, so there must be some problem with my milk.

Of course I wil lignore her because I know my boy is very good.

thanks again for everythings. Is so good to know there are people out there....thanks.

Regards
Babi

 

[usfret]

My MIL breast fed all her kids too and for more than a year. But yet she was totally unsupportive towards me. When I mentioned that I was planning to breast feed for as long as I could she said oh but I was a housewife so it was easy for me to do so and I had so much milk. Every time my baby cried she would say he's probably not getting enough and then when he would sometimes vomit she would say you overfeed him he's drinking too much - I was like hello, make up your mind. She wasn't even happy about the fact that I was expressing. She said things like I don't believe in giving stale refridgerated milk to the baby. It did hurt and sometimes my eyes would get all teary (course I didn't let her see that) But she was living in MY house and she had no choice but to follow my rules. In retrospect, I think perhaps she was resenting the fact that the baby was so attached to me coz she would always compare my baby to my brother in laws baby and say how the lil girl would never sleep until "grandma" put her to sleep and how she was so healthy and that her mum could not give her milk but how the baby began gaining weight under her supervison (on cow's milk) I am certain that my poor sis in law had no choice and was unable to continue to bf her baby bcz she is very timid and she must have been told that it is good to supplement with cow milk - naturally her milk supply would go down. Anyway, what I am saying is maybe your mil wants to feel like she is the one taking care of your baby and the baby is thriving because of her and she wants the baby to need her. It is natural and quite common. Why do women forget how they themselves felt when they were mothers? I just cannot comprehend it.

Just stay firm and don't let her get away with her emotional black mailing. I told my husband quite clearly that if he didn't put his mother in her place then I would and it would be very unpleasant. So he stepped in for me (course in a kinder more tactful way) but it was good enough to make her realize that she had no say in our home.

Just stay calm and enjoy your time with your LO. It's the most beautiful, wonderful bond in the world don't let anyone take it away from you.

 

[Isaac Mom]

Bibi, I tell you what, not like Hong Kong all American paediatrician recommend breastfeed rather than formula. My son was born in Seattle. A nurse approached me telling how good the breastfeed was for both baby and mom. If a mom insists on giving formula, they will send a social worker bringing some books / leaflets, video tape to visit the family to convince breastfeeding.

From this practice, Bibi you choose a right choice.

No worries.
Isaac Mom

 

[geiboyi]

Agree that your MIL may resent you doing this as it's something she cannot do, so feels less needed. Tough.

Also, people here like fat babies - this all stems (probably) from the fact that in the past (not so long ago) a lot of babies didn't survive childhood - a fat baby was therefore rightly considered good - generally fat babies aren't suffering from any nasty illness (although of course long term it's not at all good). Note that HKers have some odd ideas about weight - look at all the 'lose weght' posters in the MTR/local mags.

Finally, also linked to the above, I suspect, is the fact that people here consider something that costs more is better. Breastfeeding is something that poor people (in China) do, because they can't afford formula. Formula is better than breastmilk because of all those claims printed on the cans (makes your baby cleverer, taller, etc). People here do tend to believe things that they are told - will never question doctors, etc.

Just ignore your MIL. You know that breastfeeding is good for you and your baby, and that it all that matters. I breastfed my son for more than a year and he is big and strong and very rarely sick. (Luckily my MIL is 6000 miles away so I never had the problem that you do...).

 

[hkaussie]

You're not alone, I had my security guard press money into my hand (YES, he actually did that) to go and buy formula because my baby was 'too skinny'.

My baby has been on the top percentile for weight ever since he was born at 4.1kg!!!

How ridiculous.

I do feel for you, these things always hurt us mothers, and my security guard's comments made me feel worried, but you know there's always going to be something to worry about, it's tough being a Mummy. At least our babies love us more than anyone else