any moms managing without a helper?

I'm a stay at home mum to a 2 1/2 year old and an 8 1/2 month old and have no full-time or part-time helper. Luckily hubby works in the same building, so he doesn't have to leave for work till 9am, comes home for lunch, will pop home and do a bit of babysitting if I need to take one of the kids to the pediatrician or if I have a doc/dentist appt., and normally gets home just after 5pm.

I vacuum the floor regularly (if I'm not expecting visitors, the vacuum will normally be out in the living room), dust when I can, clean the toilet/ bathrooms as and when needed, normally cook and wash dishes with the boys in the kitchen or with the younger one in the playpen and switch on 'Baby TV' for the older one, do the laundry regularly but iron when I get the chance (hubby likes to wash and iron his work clothes himself). Hubby helps put the older one to bed while I get the baby ready for bed. We take turns to do the groceries - normally after work or occasionally a quick shopping trip during hubby's lunch break, or we drive up to the Parkview PNS at the weekends.

I fly back to my parents' place next week because for the next 2 weeks, hubby has said he'll be busy at work which means late nights for him. We have not appointed a babysitter yet so have not had a night out for almost 9 months now!

I think the reason I've survived so far is because hubby is nearby if I need him.
 
I am also a SAHM with two kids and no helper. My dd's are 4, and 6 wks old. We also live in a small 2 bedroom flat and there is no way we could have someone else living here. It's hard enough when people come to visit for a week or two and have to sleep on the sofa-bed. There is no room and no privacy. I wish we had a part time helper a few days per week, but we haven't done that, either.

I think that if you can get some help for the first couple of weeks after your baby is born, from friends or relatives or your church group or play group (if you have them) to bring dinners, that would help you a lot. It would help you all adjust to having the new baby without having to worry about what to eat every night.

Also, if your husband is around and not traveling all the time, make sure he knows that you will need help with some day to day things like taking out the trash, doing a load of laundry, cleaning the bathroom now and then, taking your older child to the playground so you can nap for an hour or whatever. This will also help lessen your stressload if he can help out.

My older dd rides the school bus so all I have to do is take her downstairs to where the bus picks her up and drops her off. Does your child's school have a bus? That will be a lot easier than having to take him to and from school every day, especially if the baby is sleeping or needs to eat or whatever.

If you would like to chat more about it or have specific questions, feel free to pm me!!
 
Thanks to everyone for sharing their views. I've still got loads of time to consider my options but will probably opt for part-time help just to do the housework and occasional cooking. If that doesn't work out, I can still get a full-time helper and we are even thinking about moving to a bigger flat.

I guess for me, it's also a confidence issue and doubting my own ability to take care of 2 kids, especially with my first one being quite clingy, still breastfeeding and even now still wakes up at night. Hope I can resolve this before I next get pregnant!
 
I only have the one child and felt guilty about gettting help.
But my part time helper has been wonderful.
I live in a 400sqft apartment so there was no way we could have a live in anyway.
She started to come in for a few hours a day to free me up to do other things and give me a break.
Now she comes from 10-6 4 times a week as I am back at work part time.
You can always have a full time helper that lives out (you need to pay for a room for them. Many helpers are used to this arrangement and can organise this themselves) And they can come in for hours you specify or stay over when and if you need.
HK can be hard with out help .
Thank god for DHs they are absolute life and sanity savers.
 
Part Time Helper

Ladies,

Doing it without a helper is amazing. Kudos to those of you who have done so. I haven't been able to do. I have a part-time helper who I won't be using anymore as I am going back to work and will have a live-in helper. The part-timer is AMAZING with our son who I am EXTREMELY particular about. Her name is Amy if anybody needs a part time helper. Send me a message and I'll have her call you. She is awesome. She has more energy than I do sometimes with our son and when he sleeps she is always doing something else - cleaning, vacuuming, ironing, laundry, etc. She has even taken our dog out a couple of times upon my request.

Let me know if you need somebody and I'll have her call you. I would HIGHLY recommend her - she was recommended to me by another mom on geobaby!!
 
Active Child

I've been waiting for a maid for 6mths. 1st one got sacked as she stole $$. And waiting for 2nd one to arrive. Juggling a new baby, an active 2yr+ is not joke. It meant "jailed at home" for me; as I cannot possibly run after one child while carrying the baby! Get help unless you're really super women. But if your 20m child is obedient and never ever bother u, then it is manageable. So it really depends on your priority - Do u want to spend more time with the kids or the chores? PT help doesn't mean much.
 
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