Hi Sharon
In answer to your question about playdates etc I am new to Hong Kong so not totally familiar with the amah culture myself. I'm not sure how old your children are but I understand that you will be working full time and leaving the care to your newly found helper.
I would just echo the sentiments of others that you need to choose the helper carefully and people tell me,repeatedly, go, on your gut feeling. References can be of limited value, I think.
As to whether the helper mixes and arranges playdates, this would depend on the individual girl/woman, I guess. Pre-school children do not really play together (they play alongside) and early years are about bonding with mother (or significant other)and feeling securely attached (if you read any childcare manual) rather than having a social life.
The 'playdates' are as much (to my mind) so the helper can get out and mix a bit which is fine.
Hong Kong life is very different for mothers from what I see, with all the cheap childcare available. The amahs do not mix with the mothers much and in particular, would not share a social venue, except, maybe in a club setting.
It is funny to me, when you see two new mothers at the beach, with their new babies plus 2 amahs! 4 adults to 2 little nippers.
Roles can get blurred and I have seen new mothers not even holding their own new babies.....but sorry, I'm rambling............
Back to activities..it may be worth looking into clubs in your area -they usually have activities which amahs can take the children to. They usually have a 'special entrance' and waiting areas for the helpers.
In your case it is for a very good reason (work) but many mothers dont even bother to go to the top of the road, here, to meet their children off the school bus (even tho they are not working)
This is what I've observed.
In choosing someone, I would consider her command of your language (?English) as she will be spending long hours with your child/children and some have limited communications skills (ie only speak in present tense etc)
I agree that your children need outings and structure to their day, particularly if you dont have garden/outside space.
Many of the amahs in fact have university degrees and are bright so hopefully you'll find the right one. The other thing is that (IMHO) doing housework/cleaning/ironing aswell as full-time childcare is quite hard and you may need to give her priorities so she can organise what she does, when the children are awake and playing.
There is not so much a culture of being outside in the open air here (with the weather and pollution) plus the fact that the Filipinos hate to get sun on their faces.
Many of the helpers have their own families but check you both hold the same standards of care.
Hope this helps not throw up too many negative points!
I think you are right to consider 'what she will do all day' with your children. I've been advised that you must communicate exactly what you expect/would like to happen, on a daily basis - the rest can slot around it.
Good luck with your search - hope you find someone nice
LA
