adjusting as a stay-home-mom

[sherwes]

I have the perfect solution - have another baby!! ha ha. I used to get bored at home with my baby. I was very lucky that he was very settled, slept a lot, was a great eater and almost never cried. Then I got pregnant and now I have a very very active and challenging 26 month old and an 8 month old who is much more demanding that my first baby. I am certainly not bored now!!

On the topic of intellectual pursuits (ie how to keep that part of your brain that isn't used for making puree and pram pushing from going rusty) I watch Bloomberg, read a lot of non fiction (most historical stuff) and try to read the FT from cover to cover at least once a week. I am reading a really interesting book at the moment called "The Penguin Book of 20th Century Speeches". A lot of the speeches have a political bent and are really interesting to read with the benefit of hindsight.

 

[matemate]

Thanks for all the ideas. I agree many things can keep baby amused. What about you? How do you keep your own mind sane and what do you do to keep your brain active and challenged?

i think i get the sense where you are coming from and i also sense that the answers so far are not really satisfying as they still typically related to mom (as opposed to to generic women or men's intellectual pursuits). from a men's perspective, here's my suggestions:

- get active in a chamber of commerce (they usually have many different activities including investment clubs, interesting speakers, etc.)
- get active in your school's alumni club (same as above)
- study a field you always wanted (e.g. chinese history) but do it thoroughly as a researcher, not just reading a few non-fictional books
- put aside a pot of money and start stock-picking yourself. unfortunately home traders tend to be loners...but you could initiate something through the chamber or alumni clubs mentioned above
- run a little internet side business (import/export from/to your home country). assuming you are an expat this could be easier and can be done from home
- seriously consider going back to work

 

[monte]

I found that becoming a sahm was definitely an adjustment. And even though I'm never really bored--we don't have a helper--I do find often that I need more intellectual stimulation. I listen to a lot of podcasts, as someone said earlier, and read the NYTimes online everyday (naptime). I'm a freelance writer, so each evening after son goes to bed I write, and I started taking a grad class this semester too, just to keep my brain active. I used to be in a book club that WASN'T moms, so no chance of devolving into child-related conversation! Also, I've started knitting since staying at home, and it's great to do when my son is awake--keeps me from feeling like I have to jump up and down and entertain him every second. I know you said you aren't a crafty person, but maybe there is some hobby (music?) that's not online that you could do during the day with your baby around? I think it's good for them to see us interested and active in our own things, and they are often so curious about it! Good luck. It's a great privilege to be at home, but can be challenging. Lots of women go back to work when they reach this point, at least part-time, and that's always an option too ...

 

[purple1]

Really appreciate all the suggestions. I just have to put words into action and actually do some of these!

 

[HK2008]

Hi there,
When I first came to HK, I was often feeling bored, and empty. Then I quickly figured out that I need to make the best use of my time(it's such a luxury to have so much time on hands with a great live-in help). I'd go to gym in the morning for two hours; then study Cantonese for 3-4 hours a day; go have a coffee with friends(that I made here) 2-3 times a week; then go shopping 2-3 times a week...Of course I also spent time with my kids(play together, education programe etc). I felt much better when I made some acheivement on a daily basis. Invest time/efforts on your health; and on keeping your brain active, etc.
However, a greater acheivement came when I finally found my job about 5 months ago. I have to say nothing stimulates you more than having a job!(unless you can truly enjoy being a SAHM).
:Butbut I am really sick of the long hours at work and having to drag myself out of bed each and every morning. Now I'm very confused---I don't know what I want any more!
Hope you can make the best out of what you've got and be sure of yourself everyday