5 Weeks preggers and hubby not excited...

[FishMama]

Elle, you have no need to apologise, I'm sorry your in the worst case scenario, but I guess I need to know. I hope that things continue to improve withi your hubby and girl.

 

[FishMama]

Thanks all, I'm sure he'll come round. I had my first OBGYN yesterday and he was interested in the science stuff and technical things, so I think he'll get better when he can see things, and feel things.

 

[erina320]

Holy moly Elle!

... I'm speechless. For me that would be serious grounds for a permanent separation! I can understand a guys inability to express excitement, lack of enthusiasm and maybe not really wanting kids, but to be so utterly selfish and unsupportive as to leave after the baby is born!

Men are so over rated!!

 

[baby09]

Thanks all, I'm sure he'll come round. I had my first OBGYN yesterday and he was interested in the science stuff and technical things, so I think he'll get better when he can see things, and feel things.

i had the same experience. DH already had 3 kids from a previous marriage but always stated he didnt mind if i wanted a baby but when i told him i was 4 wks pregnant ...... complete silence for 10mins and totally expressionless face. i was really hurt by his reaction but now my baby is 2 half yrs old and the apple of his daddy's eyes - he even told me he can not imagine how boring our lives would have been without our daughter - Our lives now revolve around our daughter and my DH loves bringing her out on day trips and playing hide and seek with her - so dont despair - his heart will melt once he sees the baby - they all do!:lovedface:

 

[baby09]

same here. my husband never went to a prenatal class with me nor shopping for baby stuff. when she was born he refused to stay in the birthing room (he's scared of blood) Anyway when baby was born, he never fed, changed a diaper or bathed my baby and she is now 3yr old. He does not even know which milk powder she drank or even where it is! - It doesnt mean he is a bad father, just he thinks this is a woman's job - he keeps saying his responsibility is to bring in the money to pay for the milk powder! - fair enough - so really it depends on how involved you want him to be and how involved HE wants to be - which is 2 separate thing! Sometimes i really envy my friends with husbands who were at their beck and call when they were pregnant and who husbands were reading books and getting involved in the pregnancy - most of the time i was by myself.

 

[Gemma]

My husband is a fantastic dad and whilst he couldnt really feel the bonding as i did when i was carrying our little one, he was really into the "transport" side of things. He's into cars himself (a men thing I guess) and did loads of research into prams, car seats and baby carriers. If your husband is into that sort of thing perhaps yu can see if he is interested in that? perhaps you

 

[FishMama]

same here. my husband never went to a prenatal class with me nor shopping for baby stuff. when she was born he refused to stay in the birthing room (he's scared of blood) Anyway when baby was born, he never fed, changed a diaper or bathed my baby and she is now 3yr old. He does not even know which milk powder she drank or even where it is! - It doesnt mean he is a bad father, just he thinks this is a woman's job - he keeps saying his responsibility is to bring in the money to pay for the milk powder! - fair enough - so really it depends on how involved you want him to be and how involved HE wants to be - which is 2 separate thing! Sometimes i really envy my friends with husbands who were at their beck and call when they were pregnant and who husbands were reading books and getting involved in the pregnancy - most of the time i was by myself.

I am sorry to hear that, but sounds like you are dealing with it. I don't doubt my husband is a good man and I love him more than anything, just hope that if we get to that point we can make it. Good luck to you.

 

[carang]

funny, i used to love my husband "more than anything"... then i had kids. while i still love my husband to bits, NOTHING compares to the love of a mother for her child/ren. i didn't realise that until i had kids.

 

[erina320]

funny, i used to love my husband "more than anything"... then i had kids. while i still love my husband to bits, NOTHING compares to the love of a mother for her child/ren. i didn't realise that until i had kids.

Couldn't agree more!

 

[thanka2]

If he doesn't it is something you will need to deal with. My husband was completely disinterested in our child for at least 8 months after she was born. He took off on vacation for almost his entire 6 week paternity leave leaving me home with a newborn. It wasn't until she was really walking and talking a bit that he actually started to do anything with her and as she gets older and is able to communicate he seems to be spending a bit more time with her. But, he still has never given a bath, prepared or fed her a meal, put the baby to bed or changed a diaper.

This makes me feel really sad. Sad for you. Sad for your child and sad for your husband. No one wins with that type of situation.