3-month old baby won't nap unless being carried

[lesliefu]

there are conflicting views on carrying and not carrying babies when they cry. since a babies cry is their way of communicating that something is wrong...so what I did was check everything that could possibly be wrong...wet nappy / too hot / hunger / too dark / too bright and when everything is fine then I just put her down and then let her cry....for say 5 mins and then pick her up to soothe her and then once she is quite put her down again. each time I would let her cry for longer and pick her up for a shorter period of time....if you do this consistently you can eventually train them to sleep once they get into bed. believe it or not, but you will eventually learn the different cries of your baby so that you know when it is hunger / pain / over exhaustion / or just plan being naughty and wanting you to hold.

it's not a good idea for them to fall asleep after a bottle or on the breast because when they get teeth you will have to "brush" their teeth before bed time....routine is good...consistency is essential...my baby has her last bottle of milk and then I read a book before I put her into bed awake...then she puts herself into bed in about 10-15mins...

it can happen! just have to consistent!

 

[karmah1]

Kimmy2009

I think it took a couple of hours, for the first hour I stayed in the room, as I he always started to cry not long after I put him down. As the time between putting him down and him starting to cry got longer I left the room, but hovered near the door so I could hear him.

I think it will work best if you did it at night when baby is due for his longest sleep rather than nap time. Once you have done the bath/massage/milk bedtime routine he should be getting sleepy. Where as if you did it at naptime first he wouldn't be sleepy enough. And he probably will be confused at first as this is something new to him and he is so used to you holding him, but you have to be consistent so he can learn what is going on. It takes a while for a baby to learn a new skill. As everyone says its all about repitition and consistency.

If you read the Baby Whisperer book she will also describe her experience of doing this with a new baby.

 

[Kimmy2009]

Lesliefu, karmah1- the pick up and put down method seems to be working well for both of you. I will give it a try too then. Last nite I started the bedtime routine around 5pm and by 6.30pm my baby was sleepy. I breastfeed him and he fell asleep in my arm. I think tonite I have to remove the breastfeeding and put him to bed rightaway so that he won't associate sleeping with breastfeeding.

 

[karmah1]

You could still breastfeed but when you see him start to go to sleep why don't you change his nappy before you put him down. He might wake but still be sleepy enough. Or breastfeed a little earlier before he gets too sleepy.

 

[Shenzhennifer]

Kimmy2009 - the key seems to be in having him go to sleep drowsy, but still awake and aware, so it`s him who is falling asleep by himself, instead of using a prop.
In the book The No Cry Sleep Solution, one of the methods is pretty basic: when your baby`s sucking slows down, take him off the breast and push up his chin to close his mouth. If he protests too much then give the breast back and try it again. There are a few steps to it but this is the main idea.
Of course, I have yet to try it because I also enjoy breastfeeding my boy to sleep, especially now since most other feeds he now rejects But I was going to try this method. What I currently do is switchsides when he gets sleepy to wake him up a bit and to make sure he`s taking in more milk once the one side is mostly drank up, and also breastfeeding him under a light (not too bright) so it`s not THAT comfortable for him.

 

[sunrays]

I sympathize with all of you who are having a hard time getting baby to sleep. I read all the books you mentioned and it's great if you find something that works for you. At the end of the day you need to do what you are comfortable with. I used to feel so guilty for holding my little one to get her to sleep. But I could not let her cry. I spent hours rocking, patting, sshhhing her etc. Yes, it was exhausting but it worked best for us. From rocking it progressed to patting her whilst in her cot, then to holding her hand, then to being in her room. Now she puts herself to sleep. Good news is, it won't last forever. Bad news is she is about to turn 3...which could seem like forever to you now!!!

Only advice I would give is to check out that there is nothing medically wrong. I found an osteopath who helped as my little one did have some tension in her head at a young age. She always slept well after a session!!

Good luck to you all.

 

[Kimmy2009]

Found this website on the no cry sleep solution and pu/pd method. Check it out if u are interested. Gentle Removal Plan

 

[okezie]

Kimmy2009

The key is consistency. Maybe your starting the bedtime routine too early. I've always started about an hour no more than two hours before actually putting my son to bed. His routine has not changed since he was 6 weeks old and he is now 9 months, so he knows what to expect. I've made little changes along the way introducing story time, brushing teeth, etc.

I followed the Baby Whisperer technique of pick up and put down, yes its hard work for the first couple of nights but it does get easier! Again the key is consistency. This is what I was doing at 3 months...5pm bathtime, followed by massage, lights were dimmed in his room with soft music playing. Then breastfeed followed by a top up bottle ( I also had same problem as you with low milk supply), change nappy if needed and then between 6-6.30pm would lay him in his hammock and tell him its sleepy time. I would then walk out the room. I left the music playing in his room till I went to bed, babies don't like complete silence. If he started crying I would pick him up, comfort him and as soon as he stoped put him back down then walk out of the room. This pick up and put down routine lasted about 76 times the first time I started but over a couple of nights it got less and less. Eventually I was able just to pat him or rub his back saying shshhh, rather than pick him up.

You need to persevere for at least a week. You will get tired and think its not working but you need to be consistent because it does work in the end and baby is learning to put himself to sleep. Its the best gift you can give him. Jut think in the long run you don't want to be still rocking a heavy toddler to sleep in your arms every night!

And I also do yoga every Sunday morning....its the only me time I get during the week and I love it!

I coudnt have said it better myself. This routine sounds very similar to mine except we bath later - around 6 and instead of top up with formula I am exclusively BF. I have not had to use the pick up put down as my baby is either very calm or he responded well to my putting him in his cot to sleep alone with music very young (birth onwards!).
I agree babies should not be left to cry. Did it with my dughter but will never do it with my son who is 4 weeks old. I do however let him grizzle a bit. He has been known to grizzle and grunt when I just put him down in his cot. I know the difference between a cry that means he really needs me and a cry that is tired and wants to sleep.

Keep using these boards and websites and take what works for you.
Good luck!:gl: