A Breakthrough-Why Didn't I Do This Sooner?!

[MilkMonster]

"What I remember without going through the book right now is that she said the earlier you put the child down at night the longer they sleep-which seems like an oxymoron but I think this is true--since my son started going to sleep no later than 7 pm (at one point he was going to sleep at 5:30 or 6 pm!) he sleeps 12 hours at a shot without waking up but if for some reason he doesn't get to bed until 9 or 10 pm (like we had a family dinner we had to attend etc.) then he is more prone to waking up earlier than usual in the morning."

completely agree with this. Both my kids (23mth and 7mths) go to bed at 630pm and sleep through to 8am/7am respectively. If we put them down later, they will wake up earlier or at the same time, getting much less sleep than if they went to bed earlier.

"I also have a "special" blanket with a teddy attached and a "special" sheep skin "Flat Bear" toy in the cot. These items are never given to my little one unless he is in the cot."

Haha I do this too!! sleep toys are sleep toys and he always has to put them back into the bed when he gets up in the morning!it has worked for us, especially when we travel!! He sees his sleep toys and is so happy to see them. We haven't had any problems with travel and i think it's because of the sleep toys/bed sheets we always bring along.

However, don't agree that a black out curtain or very dark room is a good idea if you plan to travel with your kids IMHO while they are young. for my elder son, we sleep trained him with the curtains open so he would learn to fall asleep with some light coming in and also learn to stay sleeping when the sun came up in the morning. Now he sleeps with the curtains shut but we really needed him to be flexible so we purposefully didn't black out the room. with our 2nd baby we are doing the same, he sleeps in a room without curtains closed so he will learn the same skill.

 

[MLBW]

However, don't agree that a black out curtain or very dark room is a good idea if you plan to travel with your kids IMHO while they are young. for my elder son, we sleep trained him with the curtains open so he would learn to fall asleep with some light coming in and also learn to stay sleeping when the sun came up in the morning. Now he sleeps with the curtains shut but we really needed him to be flexible so we purposefully didn't black out the room. with our 2nd baby we are doing the same, he sleeps in a room without curtains closed so he will learn the same skill.

Why would traveling with your kids matter? Because you can easily get a towel or something and stick it over the window to make it more dim. I just flew by myself to the USA (a 26+ hour journey) and back again--so if you're talking about the sleeping on a plane thing--I just gave up on that notion because the plane is an odd place for a baby to sleep. I tried a full year of "sleep training my child to sleep with the curtains wide open" and as I detailed before, he didn't sleep--didn't take naps easily until I dimmed the room just this week. It's still not pitch black in there--the table cloth I'm using lets in a little bit of light--but it is dimmer than before.

About the "sleep toys"--he doesn't have "sleep toys" actually--that's not what I was talking about. I actually stuck him in his crib with a bunch of regular toys to play when it wasn't sleep time--for about 45 minutes and sat in there and played with him while he was in the crib--peeking through the bars. At nap time, I took the toys out, put the tablecloth over the window, covered him with a blanket and gave him a stuffed animal to hold--that's it. No fights at all. Usually he gets up to crawl away or stands up and demands to be let out of the crib--instead he just laid there and let me cover him up and I walked out with him fully awake and he went to sleep for over an hour! Awesome!

 

[MilkMonster]

MLBW of course for you, you have tried everything and as a last resort made the room darker and it worked!!! Yay!! I was just posting for anyone else who might be in the same situation trying to figure out what works and what doesn't, that i personally would not black out the room unless my baby really didn't sleep no matter what i tried and had no choice. I would not recommend blacking out a room as the first method to try simply for the reason that a baby that can fall asleep while there is light in the room is much easier to accommodate than a baby that requires darkness.

For us, when we travel, it's not an option to put up bedding over the windows as my kids go to bed at 630 or 7pm and if we are in the same room, it's just not going to work for hubby and i to sit in the dark for 30mins while we wait for the kids to fall asleep. Maybe we are just not that accommodating Plus, the grandparent's house in Canada has venetian blinds so the room does get bright when the sun comes up.

Anyway, it wasn't meant to be critical of what you do. everyone does what works for their family and it's just great when something finally does work and you get that sense of relief.

From your post, i totally understood what you were saying, that you played with him and made it fun in the crib before putting him down for his nap. The sleep toys are just another suggestion to add to your suggestions for other parents who read this thread

cheers

 

[Polly]

My 20 month old sleeps on and off through the night but it's not that I'm so bothered about but she literally doesn't take a nap. She woke at 05:30 this morning, I thought she went down beautifully at 09:00 only to wake 8 mins later - I was mortified; I'd taken myself off to bed as I was so tired. She eventually fell asleep at 16:30 in the carrier whilst we were out and I let her sleep for half an hour. So, my question is... I'm interested in reading a Baby Whisperer book but I've never read her books before and wonder if I should get the first one or is there one more suitable for my daughter's age (20 months). Saying that, I'll definitely be reading one of her books before the next one comes along.

 

[MLBW]

So, my question is... I'm interested in reading a Baby Whisperer book but I've never read her books before and wonder if I should get the first one or is there one more suitable for my daughter's age (20 months). Saying that, I'll definitely be reading one of her books before the next one comes along.

There are several different books out there. I think you probably should pick up a copy similar to the one I use now called "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (By Teaching You To Ask The Right Questions)" It contains all of the former things in her first book (some more abridged--but at this stage, you already know how to give your daughter a bath etc....some basic things included in the first book) but it also focuses more on eating, potty training etc. If you'd like to borrow my book (and promise to return it :tongue just PM me--it's sitting on my shelf right here. You could look through it and decide if it might be good for you.

 

[rach]

polly i think a 20month sleeping at 9 in the morning is too early for a good nap (ie they might be tired but will not sleep for long) most that age are just having on longer nap after lunch or 11.30ish at the earliest. (just going on what i ahve read and what friends do). my 25 month old went through a phase of waking at 5.30 and it makes a long morning so sleeps in the afternoon (usually).

 

[Kiwi Family]

Personally:
1. Dark or darkened room - Yes, at very least a change in the level of light to signal sleep environment (we travel alot as well).
2. Swaddle tight - For us, this is our signal for sleep time (swaddled our son until he was 18 months, the gave him a "blankie".)
3.Routine - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You. Just like Tracey says, the bonus of this is everyone incl Baby knows what happens next...
4.Toys in bed - mmmm, personally we decided bed contains nothing but blankets and baby. Bed is for sleeping or resting, not playing. We avoid all crib/bassinet bumpers etc.
5.Noise - mmm this is a hard one, we didnt want to live on eggshells but had to respect no one can fall asleep easily with noise so we compromised. We go about our daily tasks without too much change just awareness but avoid loud music and unnecessary noise whilst the little one is trying to sleep. Once they are asleep, anything goes!
6.Treat your baby like a person, tell them what you are doing even when they can't talk or understand, this is great help for later when they do understand. I find the talking also helps calm my nerves and keeps me neutral otherwise I felt like I was losing my mind.

Tracey's book was invaluable especially the advice on interpreting Baby' signals, it gave us somewhere to start!
Helped us to recognise and avoid our biggest problem; over-stimulation.

In saying this I remember it to be somewhat easier...

We are trying for EASY with our 2 week old (8lbs/bottlefed) and very lucky she sleeps already 5-6 hours through the night and has her night routine sorted but seems to have real difficulty with the days.

Awake for 3 hours (by then well overtired) and then completely out to the world for 6 hours..... I have to remind myself she only know what we teach her!

So yesterday we began trying to help her find her routine....

 

[MLBW]

Personally:
....
2. Swaddle tight - For us, this is our signal for sleep time (swaddled our son until he was 18 months, the gave him a "blankie".)
3.Routine - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You. Just like Tracey says, the bonus of this is everyone incl Baby knows what happens next...
4.Toys in bed - mmmm, personally we decided bed contains nothing but blankets and baby. Bed is for sleeping or resting, not playing. We avoid all crib/bassinet bumpers etc.

We also tried the swaddling thing and our son would not tolerate it--even as a newborn--he would freak out if we swaddled him--tight or lose--didn't matter. He wanted to have his hands free and then he was content.

My son still doesn't have a "transitional object" even at 14 months--no special attachment to a blanket or doll or toy--he is quite fond of his pacifier--which maybe is a "transitional object"--but he only gets that when it is sleep time--so that is also a thing that signals sleep.

The routine was really the part we found very helpful to us. My husband and I, by nature are both fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants people. Pre-baby if we felt like going out to eat at 2 am, we would--or sometimes 9 at night or earlier-depending on our mood. We soon learned that with baby, this didn't work and so now we are quite tethered to our home in the evening--which has actually been very cozy for us.

Toys in bed--I know that for probably 12 months we did the same thing--no toys in the bed--nothing but the mattress and a blanket to cover with. And even now, when my son actually sleeps, no toys in the bed--we actually do the play time at an odd time that doesn't coincide with sleep--just simply and exercise for him to develop affinity with his bed and to see it as a pleasant place. So, play with the toys and make the bed a fun place, then take the toys out and later on bring him back for a nap there. Worked so well for us!