how to react? husband's family takes child to beach without notifying you beforehand.

[solidstars]

So, got to MIL's house today after work (with husband, we'll call him X) and:

MIL: so i washed T already, but not really a bath, just to get the sand off

Me: sand?

**notible pause in living room**

T's young cousin looks at MIL and then looks at me and shouts: Well, X knows we went to the beach today!

Me: Okay. (looks at T) did you have fun? (chat with T)
(I continue to pretend everything is okay)

*X and I walk away from living room*

Me: When were you going to tell me your mom took T to the beach?
X: Well, I forgot myself, so that's why I forgot to tell you.

===========

:tantrum:

How am i supposed to react? I don't mind T going to the beach, but I do mind that everyone seems to be keeping it a secret from me? If it wasn't for the fact that my MIL 'leaked' it out I wouldn't have known at all!!!!

So confused! Not sure where to direct my anger, I supposed I should be angry at my husband for keeping it a secret?!

 

[carang]

think this is one to let slip.... my hubby and his family do stuff with my kids when i'm at work... it's not a secret, they just don't think to tell me about it until after the fact... last week, my MIL took my son to mongkok for lunch with my BIL & SIL.... i was at work and had no idea...

 

[lesliefu]

it's the first time - would let it slide. at least your kid was under your MIL's supervision

 

[joyofliving]

Actually I would be very happy if any of my family members took care of my kids like that or entertained them by taking them to the beach. I would just say thank you and make them feel they did an awesome job

 

[matemate]

the one to blame is your husband if anyone. though agree with above to let it slip

 

[Gataloca]

I think probably they didn't mean to keep it as a secret. Probably for them was just a normal activity with your kid,... so normal that, why bother telling you?

I bet that if my parents were the one taking care of my baby, they would take him everywhere, and wouldn't bother telling me about that as well....

 

[thanka2]

I know from your other posts here, solidstars, that it's not always "happy land" at your house and you do have issues with your in-laws and your husband (X--is that cryptic for "ex"???)

In this case, I would say this is completely normal. My parents-in-law look after my son on the weekends. They took him to the beach last weekend and neither my husband nor I knew about it until later. He had fun. To me, it's not any bigger of a deal than if they had taken him to the playground to play. Unless you have something particularly against your child going to the beach?

Husbands forget a lot of things. My husband forgets to tell me a lot of things. Well, also he forgets to translate things for me sometimes because he speaks Cantonese and I don't. So, he just kind of assumes I overheard the conversation and got the meaning. What motivation would he or your parents-in-law have for keeping such a thing as a trip to the beach as a secret from you? Doesn't make any sense--unless we don't have all the info. here.

Let it slide, girl, let it slide.

 

[RileyC]

Agree with the others to let it go. Your child is very lucky to have family who can spend quality time with him/her.
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[MommyTo3]

Actually I would be very happy if any of my family members took care of my kids like that or entertained them by taking them to the beach. I would just say thank you and make them feel they did an awesome job

Completely agree.

 

[kaandy]

You sound pretty ungrateful to me. How nice that you have a lovely family who gave up their time to entertain your kid!

They took your child to the beach, it's hardly a crime!

Get over it love and maybe consider thanking them instead.